It’s A Cracker!

After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided that that was enough, as they couldn’t afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn’t want to have any more children..

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a large firecracker, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The husband said to the doctor, “B’Jayzus, I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don’t see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me with my problem.”

“Trust me, it will do the job”, said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cracker and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5,” at which point he paused, and placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in New Zealand and Tasmania.

Dickiebo’s Garage!!

Wise Words!

This presents us with an insurmountable opportunity.
Let’s decide right now whether you or I will be competitive.
I won’t hesitate for a moment to avoid answering!
I am myself, and I’m going to continue to play that role! – Richard Nixon.
I have something to say, but I don’t know what.
You don’t stand alone. I also stand alone!
I’m an atheist, thank God.
The time has come to rise above principles.
Include me out! Samuel Goldwyn
Let us do for a second time what we refused to do at first. This will avoid setting a precedent.
I would much rather prefer to be non-committal.
We can’t get a volunteer army unless we draft it.
Since the quorum lacks five members, we must adjourn this meeting.
Our inequities must be equally shared.
We will proceed on the assumption that nothing will be done.
I will now predict an unanticipated result.
Emergency service provided only with twenty-four hours notice.
The answer is maybe, and that’s final!
Before I begin my speech, there’s something I want to say.
All emergencies will henceforth be deferred!
We will keep on fighting until the violence ends!
He won thumbs down.

Revenge is Sweet!